I've learned that my wife is my helper (Genesis 2:18)

I am a blessed man.

My wife and I recently make a significant decision - well, actually we came back to a significant decision made well in the past. That decision is that I need to be in full-time ministry and will, by God's grace, be pursuing that goal.

We realize such a decision is not one that can be made lightly, and it definitely is not a light decision for us. Those of you who know us well know that the majority of my adult life has centered around preparation for and involvement in the preaching of the Word. But, in the summer of 2007, I decided (I hate to admit that it was without much prayer or counsel) that I would seek to develop and achieve career goals in business and serve either in a part-time or volunteer basis in preaching. To summarize what could be a long winding story - my pursuit of business has not gone the way I had hoped. God has not opened the doors I prayed He would (and now, I am thankful of that), and I have struggled to have that "part-time" preaching ministry, though I have been slow to admit it, continually saying it would happen eventually. Ah, how easy it is to tell ourselves that something will happen "eventually".

But, that is simply the background for this post on how I have learned so much of my wife being my helper.

Last night my wife and I talked at our dinner table. I love her more than I can say, though I will always try to commuicate it and that's part of the ongoing joy of marriage. She made a comment that I hope I will never forget. When we talked about our "re-commitment" to full-time ministry she said it was "like a thousand pounds have been lifted off my shoulders." I was floored and just tried to soak in what she was saying.

My wife was telling me that she HAD been confident we needed to be in full-time ministry, that it was a BURDEN on her that we were not doing just that. BUT, how had she been handling this burden? She handled it with GENTLENESS & RESPECT and as a picture of the "helper" God calls a wife to be to her husband. In recent months she had been seasononing her conversation with salt, striving to point me to God's call on my life to preach while at the time, seeking to follow my leadership as a submissive wife (Ephesians 5:22-24). She did not tell me what to do - she DID point me to the Scriptures. She did not discourage me in my pursuit of business - she balanced cheering me on with reminders to seek first the kingdom (Mt 6:33). She did not tell family and friends that she believed I was going off course - she built me up when talking to others. But all that time, she had a burden. She knew and told me "God made you a preacher - you need to be preaching" with a gentle voice, and in love told me that she believed God was going to close every door in business that did not lead to a full-time preaching ministry. And, I believe she was right. God did make me a preacher, and I need to be preaching. After much striving to "balance" ministry and business I'm letting go of my career goals in business like a man lets go of baggage slowing down his ship and watches that extra weight float downstream. I am - we are - pursuing full-time ministry, and without my godly, submissive wife, I do not believe we would be pursuing that end.

So, what now? Well, as the country song says, "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans." So, I've give you my plans and hopefully the Lord won't laugh too hard at the specifics and the timeline. I preached Proverbs 16:9 once ("The mind of a man plans his way, but the Lord directs His steps") but struggle to live it out. My first pastor said, "Write your plans out in pencil, and give God the eraser." I would add that God already has the eraser, but nonethelesss, here are our plans "in pencil."

1. Continue to serve in our local church
It isn't long ago that this would not have topped the list. But, my views of the importance of the local church have since changed - elevated, that is. So many times young men commit to a preaching ministry and look elsewhere. Why? Why look to seminary first, or a web site that connects churches looking for pastors, or anything else? A professor who greatly influenced me said that the number one reason seminary students get burnt out is because they look to the seminary for their spiritual growth, when they must first look to their local church. I believe it's true. God has given me a ministry of leading local outreach at my local church, which right now is an orphans ministry and a crisis pregnancy ministry. And, my wife actively serves in the crisis pregnancy ministry, pleading with women nearly every Saturday, rain or shine, who are going into Louisville's one abortion clinic to choose life - she inspires me. I have struggled with focus on that ministry in the past few months, feeling rather burnt out - I now feel energized. I have a pastor who I have learned much from and hope to continue doing so. And, an associate pastor who is not much older than I am, but with much more ministry experience - I have been blessed to learn from him as well and plan to continue doing so. And, I will be teaching a 12 week class on the compassion of Christ beginning in March. I will seek to develop and grow in preparation of full-time ministry within my local church.

2. Begin seminary (again) in the fall of 2010
I took on an additional part-time job at a fine dining restaurant close to home (hired on Christmas eve) and will be working 3 nights a week so that we can pay off as much debt as possible leading up seminary. I will be working out of the house once again so that I have more time with family periodically through the day, and especially lunches with them. We hope to finish in the spring of 2012 - I have completed 64 credit hours and believe I can complete the remaining 28 (or so) in the next 2 years. I originally took my current job because it worked well with ministry and seminary (flexible hours when need be). Well, what do you know? It seems God will be using this job for the reason He first opened it up. I realize some of you may be thinking, "Why more school?" I can see the reason for concern, but I believe it's best that I finish the master of divinity degree I have almost completed. If God takes us away from me finishing that degree, so be it, but I believe it would most honor Him - and best prepare me - to finish it.

3. Prayerfully begin seeking where God would have us to serve
2012 will be here in the blink of an eye. I hope to finish seminary and find a full-time ministry position. I'm not sure if it will be with the E-free demonomination or the SBC (or something else), we shall see. And, we are willing to go wherever - or stay right in Louisville. We are trusting God to lead us and we are, by His grace, willing and eager to follow.

So, there you have it. As I have often said, "I'm sure glad God knows what He's doing, because I don't have a clue." On that note, I'm so thankful He knew what He was doing in bringing my beautiful Proverbs 31 wife into my life. Without my helper, I'd probably be going the wrong direction.